If you have ever worked in a corporate office, watched television, attended a wedding and accidentally walked into the wrong bathroom, or really been alive in any way, you will have noticed the amount of jibber jabber coming from the ladies’ toilets! As a result of this you will have also already realised that the way us lot use toilets is very, very different….and by the way I will be using the word ‘toilet’ throughout this blog. Call them ‘commodes’ or ‘bathrooms’ or whatever else you want but, they all have one thing in common, there’s a bog in there!
Men are all business when it comes to going to the toilet (for the most part). Get in, get it done, WASH HANDS and get out. Done. Next. To be fair, sadly, much the same way many of us are when it comes to sex.
Women on the other hand, are a different kettle of pish when it comes to their time spent behind the sign of a man wearing a kilt!
Women hang out, they talk, they give each other advice and emotional support during tough times. It’s a social extension for them like many other things. If there’s secrets to be shared or issues to be discussed or problems needing helped with, the women’s toilets are, on many occasions, just the place to do it!
So why don’t men talk to each other in the toilets in the same way?
To be fair there are quite a few obvious reasons which can’t be ignored. For one, men’s toilets are usually pretty gross (even the clean ones) so who would want to spend any more time in there than is absolutely necessary!? Other reasons include the fact that many men are just instantly distrusting of one another, bashful bladders, poor urinal etiquette and any number of other ‘blokey’ issues men have with toilets in general.
In my life I’ve never found the men’s toilets to be a pleasant place to be and can’t imagine anywhere worse to try and open up to someone or discuss something meaningful!
Point is, this is another example of how comfortable women are talking to each other in any number of places that men aren’t. While a lot of men aren’t comfortable talking generally, and certainly not about emotional or psychological challenges they may be facing, it does seem that there is room for us to find more space to make the effort to do more of it, especially if it’s going to benefit us, our happiness and our relationships.
Where do you know of that men feel comfortable getting together and talking about their feelings, frustrations and challenges in life? I’d really like to hear what works for you and where you go. Leave a comment below and share your experiences…